The Male Family Reunification Initiative is a new state-funded program that has been added to the list of Serenity House services. While Serenity House has always offered support and education evenings for family members, this is the first time we've been able to provide counseling for family members with our male halfway house and recovery home clients.

I've always been fascinated with how people think, how they solve problems, and how they interact. Even so, I ignored a high school teacher's suggestion that I become a social worker. As a volunteer at the National Runaway Switchboard, I listened to adolescents and teens talk despairingly of the parents' addictions. As a volunteer board member with the United Way of South DuPage, I helped with an area needs assessment which placed drug and alcohol problems in the top ten as concerns for the community.

Three careers later, I started over in human services and completed my degrees including Master's level counseling studies. Through my internship and work at Serenity House, my interest in families became my mission.

What we Male Family Reunification Initiative counselors hear from the fathers, mothers, children, grandparents, in-laws and other family members continues to teach us about the myriad of problems a family faces when addiction develops. Our MFRI families tell us of serious debt, behavior, education, social and emotional problems their children are experiencing, stress-related illnesses of family members, little or no financial or emotional support of their children, and lost educational and job and career opportunities for the couples involved. These people often become low income because of alcohol and drug dependency problems of one of the breadwinners. Welfare-to-work figures indicate 10 to 12 percent of this population, at a minimum, have serious problems with alcohol and drugs (Office of Alcohol and Substance Abuse).

The stories we hear flesh out the statistics. I've had women speak of their anger, fear, guilt and lack of trust of their addicted spouse or partner who is now working on his sobriety and recovery. The children of the addicted parent have told me they like their dad much more now that he's not drinking or using drugs. I've talked with parents and in-laws who are deeply hurt and angry due to their child's or son-in-law's addiction, who struggle daily with setting limits, taking care of themselves, and still loving and emotionally supporting their addicted relative. Virtually all of the families we've worked with have serious debt, are in arrears on child support, have had little or no contact with their children, and struggle with how to even begin to resolve these issues as the they work on their sobriety.

That's where the Male Family Reunification Initiative comes in. Working with the primary counselors in the halfway house and recovery homes, we assess with the family what family issues need to be addressed. We work on developing trust, and consistent and responsible behavior. We help the family deal with hurt, anger, and loss issues that occurred due to the dependency. The family then can order their lives to include recovery for the addicted person and better communication and trust. The family also sets short and long-term goals.

Working with men, as newly recovering dads is a large part of our program. Men in our program have told me of feeling bad that they haven't been able to support their children. They're afraid because they've missed out on so much time with their children that they're not sure how to become involved again. Sometimes being unable to offer much financial support is a concern, but since we also assist in job and career goals, this barrier can be removed. I stress the importance of a new beginning. I also help them understand that their children need them for the father influence that is so important to a child's development.

Men involved in the MFRI program become proud to show receipts for child support, speak of having enjoyable visits with their children and being more involved with their children in their daily lives. They speak of the growing trust and respect their children show them. Another father's work benefited his two children and his in-laws, so that the extended family understands and now more effectively supports the dad's recovery and family goals.

Sometimes reunification with the spouse or significant other is not possible. With divorced or estranged, never married couples, I've used my divorce and mediation training to help the couple keep their personal issues separate from their shared concern for their children. By the end of treatment, many of the couples report an easing of the anger and resentment and feeling good about being able to cooperate in co-parenting their children.

As mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders and post traumatic stress disorder sometimes coexist with chemical dependency, we refer people for assessment, individual counseling, and a variety of social services in DuPage County. I've helped MFRI families focus on their needs as they struggle with their post traumatic stress disorder after the events on September 11th 2001. Families get referrals for transitional living, GED classes and career counseling, job search classes, domestic violence treatment and parenting classes. The MFRI counselors, in cooperation with the clinical staff of Serenity House, do everything possible to tailor treatment to the needs of the families.

Even after MFRI treatment ceases, my colleague, Teala LeBlanc and I, contact clients by telephone on a monthly basis to learn how things are going for the families. If the couple or individual reports difficulties, we offer encouragement and specific referrals to local therapists and social service agencies and resources in this area.