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Client Questions Serenity House
regularly conducts needs assessments and surveys in an effort to continuously
fine-tune our programs to meet the wide variety of needs of our clients
and patients. What is the best way to achieve "rigorous honesty?" The phrase "rigorous honesty" comes from the text of Alcoholics Anonymous, specifically from Chapter 5 entitled, How it Works. This section talks about those who are not able to "follow the path" of recovery. It states, "There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty." (p. 58). The question of how one achieves a rigorously honest manner of living is a challenging one. The language in How it Works is strong, and the chapter goes on to present the Twelve Steps which are suggested ways of living that have helped many maintain lengthy sobriety. Many individuals new to recovery have developed a manner of living that relies heavily on deception and manipulation as means of self-preservation. Many have learned that "it's only a lie if I get caught." It also seems at times that examples of people leading honest lives are so difficult to find it must simply be an unachievable ideal. The Twelve Steps provide an outline and suggest that the recovering person be willing to at least try to "grasp and develop" this manner of living. A few things to do today:
How does antidepressant medication figure into my recovery? Antidepressants are prescribed for individuals who present with depressive or dysthymic disorders. They are also frequently prescribed for people with anxiety disorders. The most commonly used are the SSRI's (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors). For an excellent explanation of how the neurotransmitters are influenced in addiction, I recommend that you visit the NIDA (National Institute of Drug Addiction) website at www.drugabuse.gov. It is very important for individuals who are prescribed these medications to follow the advice of their physicians. It is not a good idea to follow the advice of non-physicians in support groups who imply that taking this class of drugs somehow diminishes your recovery. It is common for some in recovery to want to eventually not have to rely on medication. I suggest being cautious if you fit into this category. Talk to your physician. Has your life improved? Are things going better?
Are you feeling better? Have depressive symptoms diminished? These are
the questions you need to ask. If things are going well, why would you
want to stop your medication? If things are not improving, or side effects
are unbearable, do not suddenly stop your medications without consulting
with your doctor. How do I communicate to loved ones that recovery never ends? I hate to sound like a broken record, but send your loved ones to the NIDA website. Probably one of the most difficult things to impress upon loved ones is that addiction is a chronic brain disease and it requires the same maintenance any chronic illness would require. Addicts are never "cured." A good way to frame recovery is to think of remission and how that term is used in the treatment of cancer; the symptoms disappear but they could come back. And in the case of addiction, they will come back if maintenance steps are not followed. Individuals in recovery are faced with those who disagree with the above. There are those who do not accept the disease concept or believe that the addict simply went through some bad times and can probably control their using now especially given all that they have learned from their trials and tribulations. There is little comfort in arguing with Uncle Joe or Aunt Ruth about how they had a drinking problem once and just managed to stop without any treatment, or that they once used uncontrollably and now can stop after one or two. The addict finds him/herself defending the disease concept, or even worse, questioning his or her own recovery, "Gee, if Uncle Joe drank heavily and has now moderated his use, perhaps I can." One of the best things
you can do when loved ones question these concepts is to get yourself
to a meeting. Get with others who understand, who don't question these
facts. You may also suggest, in addition to the scientific reading, that
your loved ones attend some meetings with you, or that they go to a support
group for family members of addicts (Al-Anon, for example). Should I tell my employer that I am in recovery? This depends on the employer. On one hand, some employers are very understanding and will be grateful for your disclosure and supportive of your recovery. On the other hand, there are some employers who are unsympathetic and may view your condition as a liability. Although they can not fire you because you are an addict, if they don't understand addiction, the workplace/environment and your relationship with the boss and coworkers may become uncomfortable. Carefully assess
your work environment; talk to your sponsor and close friends before making
the disclosure. Wishing you good mental health! Dr. David Tews
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Dear Josh It is often heard that the recovering addict only needs to change one thing in recovery--Everything. The addict must be willing to let go of people, places, and things associated with active addiction. Associating with old friends triggers powerful memories of using. Simply driving by the old "using" neighborhood can trigger cravings and relapse. Codependent tendencies complicate the detachment process. It is imperative that the addict reaches out for the support of a strong sober network. The following is a letter written by a female client to a beloved friend. My dearest Josh;
First things first. I want you to know that this has nothing to do with you as a person. You know that you are an amazing individual. I have an enormous amount of respect for you and what you represent as a human being. I don't want it to seem to you that I'm holding your disease or your problems against you. Remember, I have the same disease, and, not too long ago, I had the same problems. And if I'm not careful, I can go back there. It's not hard to do. It's not hard at all. What I'm doing now is hard, fighting to stay clean and keeping my house in order. Josh, I cannot continue talking to you. You have to understand what it is doing to my head to know that one of my closest friends is stuck in active addiction. It's driving me crazy to know that I can't help you. And I know in my heart that whether or not I'm talking to you, you are going to continue doing what you're doing. I have to follow the suggestions of this program. I have to listen to my sponsor, my friends (in recovery), my counselor, and the girls in this house. Most importantly, I have to listen to my heart and follow my gut. And my gut and these people are telling me to get out of this relationship before it kills me. I can't think that I can do it my way. I've tried that so many times before, and it has not worked. Time and time again I have tried to manipulate the program to fit my desires, and it doesn't work that way. The only way for me to survive is to surrender and give myself completely to this program. This disease is my enemy, it is my destroyer, and if left to my own devices, I will throw away everything I have right now and return to my old way of living. I don't want to live that way any longer. I've been thinking the last week or so about us, our relationship, trying to differentiate between superficial and real, trying to figure out the difference between my conscious and subconscious. I've come to the realization that you are a reservation, probably the only one I have left. A reservation because I know that if for some reason I wanted to run away from here, run away from my recovery, and run back to my disease, I can go to you. I can stay with you, and everything would be o.k. And it's hard for me to know that, Josh. Whether or not you agree with me right now, I know that if I showed up on your doorstep, you wouldn't be able to shut that door on me. And I'm living out the lifestyle right now in you. I'm listening to you and sometimes yearning to be there with you, to be taking those trips with you, to be doing the 'best dope ever' with you, and I start to miss it. For a fleeting moment, I start to miss that life, the life of you, me, and our dope, and nothing matters. I don't want to go back there. I want you to understand that I can't talk to you while you're using. Whether it be heroin, pot, alcohol or crack, it doesn't matter. If you are taking any form of mind or mood altering chemical, I cannot communicate with you. I've talked to you up until this point hoping that one day you'll get it, and you'll stop. Now I am realizing I can't talk to you until you've stopped. This doesn't mean that I'm not your friend. This doesn't mean that I don't love you. You know that I always have, and I always will. This just means that today, for right now, I'm doing something I've never done before-I'm loving myself more. I'm scared for you. I really am. I'm petrified that you are going to die out there and I'll be attending your service just like Steve's and Joe's. Tonight on the phone you told me you loved getting high. I'm going to be completely honest with you-So do I. It wasn't the getting high that bothered me. It was all the bull---- that came along with it. And if I could do it without the bull----, I would in a heartbeat, just to feel the feeling again. But, I can't. The bull---- is automatic. And I know you know it because you're going through it right now: the dope sick, the running before, during and after work, Mike calling at 1:00 a.m., Justin crying for a bag. Josh, it wasn't long ago that I was crying for a bag, being dope sick, and running. And by the grace of God, I'm not there today. I'm here in a safe place with safe people, people who care about me and love me for who I am not what I have. I can get up in the morning and go to work. I can take a shower and look in the mirror. I can have an honest relationship with the people I care about. I can like myself. I don't have to be afraid of what I am going to do next. I don't have to worry about what's going to happen to me when I run out of my dope because I don't need the dope today. I love getting high, but I love life a lot more. I will be praying for you, praying that you find the willingness to surrender and give this way of life a try. When you do this, I will be here for you for love and support. I can't do it while you're out there. All that I put before my recovery I will lose, and either way, I will lose you. I'm just praying that this is temporary, that you will find me when you're ready, and that I won't be attending your funeral. With deepest love and concern, your friend, Powerful relationships are forged during active addiction. Detaching from the drug is just one part of recovery. This person's decision to say goodbye to an actively using friend will probably save her life. It may also save the life of her friend. If you have questions about treatment, please write to Treatment Talk Serenity House
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Domestic Violence and Substance Abuse Treatment
Serenity House counselors have long recognized the need to become more diverse in understanding both substance abuse and domestic violence issues, and through a unique opportunity provided by the Division of Alcohol and Substance Abuse (DASA) we are now able to address both. It has been acknowledged that substance abuse and domestic violence are two distinct but interrelated concerns which need to be addressed during treatment. In 2006, Serenity House partnered with Family Shelter Service to share the provision of services in their area of specialization to meet the needs of their respective clients. During the past sixteen months, Serenity House and Family Shelter Service have been working closely together to provide intervention, education, and counseling services to over 100 women from both agencies. One young woman entered Serenity House for treatment of her alcoholism. As she worked toward her goals of establishing employment, continuing her education, and developing a strong recovery program, an abusive relationship prevented her from completing these goals. She participated in weekly group and individual sessions to learn more about the dynamics of relationships involving domestic violence. As she learned more about healthier relationships, she learned that her present relationship exhibited unhealthy characteristics. With the support of her peers and family she terminated that relationship. Due to the influence of both programs working in conjunction, this young woman has successfully completed treatment, established her own living arrangement, and has continued her education. Violence against women is often a cycle of abuse that manifests itself in many forms throughout their lives. There is no one single factor to account for violence perpetrated against women, but abuse of alcohol and other drugs has been noted as a factor in both provoking violent male behavior towards women and children, as well as an increased vulnerability in women involved in domestic violence situations. Through the education, intervention, and counseling services offered through the Domestic Violence/Substance Abuse Intervention Program, women are able to maximize their safety and to reach out for support. If you have questions about treatment, please write to Treatment Talk Serenity House
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Substance Abuse and Hepatitis C Serenity House has been providing free and confidential HIV education, testing, and counseling services since 1997 to clients participating in Serenity House programs as well as other area agencies licensed and funded through the Division of Alcohol and Substance Abuse (DASA). We use the OraSure® test, which is a noninvasive HIV test. This test extracts antibodies from the mucous membranes in the mouth and is not a saliva test. Like a blood test, OraSure® is more than 99% effective in detecting the antibodies to HIV, not the virus itself. We also provide the new Chronic Hepatitis C (HCV) is a major concern in the medical community. Four million people worldwide have been diagnosed with HCV, and over 12,000 people die annually from HCV. Intravenous drug users (IVDU clients) are at particularly high risk for acquiring and passing on the virus. Heightened alcohol use and chronic alcoholism speed the process of liver damage and hinder HCV treatment. HCV is usually asymptomatic until irreversible liver damage has occurred. It can take a long time - 10, 20, or even 30 years - for symptoms to develop. People who have Hepatitis C are at risk for serious problems over time. They may develop cirrhosis of the liver or liver cancer. Since IVDU clients are at high risk, we are now working with the health department in DuPage County to test these clients for HCV. A representative of the County has been coming out to Serenity House once a month to provide on-site testing. The following are letters from clients who have benefited from this service: I think that it is a beautiful thing that you people come here to Serenity House to accommodate the clients. Sometimes clients don't have money to get to health centers, doctors and so on. Some of us can't really afford things like time off of work, taxis and things like that. A lot of clients have concerns about their health, but if they don't have the means, then they don't see about it. So I am glad that you guys care enough about us to make sure that we are taking care of us. For that I am truly grateful, and so are all the clients here at Serenity House. Pete L. I am a resident in the Men's Program at Serenity House. At the end of my first month here I found that I have Hepatitis C. I am grateful to Serenity House for providing free testing and information about the disease. I only wish there were more public funding for the treatment of the disease. Thank you. Dan S. In the process of getting sober, I went to a doctor for a physical in order to evaluate just how much damage I had caused with my drinking and drug use. The blood test indicated abnormal liver enzyme levels, which prompted more tests. It was at this time that they had found the Hepatitis C Virus. In reality, I had suspected that it was possible that I had been infected in the early 70's when I had shared needles to inject Heroin. I had been having symptoms for about a year, which were similar to the symptoms experienced by people I knew who had been diagnosed with HCV. My first reaction to the news was relief since it meant that I would find out how to relieve the symptoms, but then I began to feel concern over the fact that my liver might have been damaged beyond reclamation. When my doctor told me that he would have to take a biopsy of my liver to determine the exact extent of the damage, this added to my concern. The result of the biopsy was that I had the liver type' that was the hardest to treat and the damage was a 2 on a scale of 4. The doctor explained that a 3 would mean being placed on the transplant list and a 4 would mean being in the hospital, waiting for a transplant. He recommended starting treatment with Interferon immediately. At the time, Serenity House was not testing for HCV and it was only because I had a brother who was willing to pay for the doctor's physical that I found out about my disease. I cringe at the thought of it progressing to a 3 or 4 before I found out. I have since completed the year long treatment, which has reduced the level of HCV to an undetectable level. The symptoms I had been experiencing have gone away and I am feeling stronger and healthier than I have in years. The doctor's prognosis is that I will not have any recurring problems. am told that the virus can be present for up to 20 years before symptoms begin to be revealed and the earlier it is detected and treated, the better the results. I applaud Serenity House's desire to add this vital service to its treatment regimen. Mike M. Although there currently is no cure, medications are available to treat the symptoms of chronic Hepatitis C. Medication choices and treatment options have undergone much improvement over the years, but there are some things you can do to help protect yourself. Take these steps to stay healthy:
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The ILT Program Putting Recovery Into Action Research has shown that the longer an individual remains in a structured recovery setting, the greater the chances they will have at maintaining long-term sobriety. At Serenity House, the ILT program has offered hundreds of individuals the opportunity to develop a comprehensive relapse prevention plan, explore long-term housing options, address any outstanding financial issues, repair relationships, and expand their support network. A quality improvement plan is being developed specifically for the men and women in the ILT programs. This plan identifies several areas where clients would be encouraged to think of their recovery as much more than simply going to support meetings, working a 12-step recovery program, and abstaining from alcohol or drug use. One area of interest would focus on exploring career and educational opportunities that are consistent with the client's skills, interests, abilities and values. Shortly after being admitted into the ILT program, clients would be required to:
Many clients in early recovery have a difficult time measuring their progress and can overlook the value of what a dependable employee can bring to the work place. Several weeks ago, one of the groups participated in an exercise that illustrates one way progress in recovery can be measured. Eleven participants were asked how long they had been clean and sober, a figure which averaged out to approximately one year each. Assuming each employee worked 2,000 hours each year, this group could collectively offer an employer 22,000 productive hours of on the job performance. The group was then asked how many days each member had called in sick or not shown up. The cumulative total was all of three days , or 24 hours. Anyone who runs a business can attest to the value of being able to count on employees who show up on time and ready to work. The road to sustained recovery is aided by expanded career and educational choices. Participating in the ILT programs at Serenity House has made many of these opportunities and more come true for those willing to work towards putting their recovery into action.
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